What is Procrastination Really About?
Why we procrastinate and how we can change it.
Procrastination is delaying or postponing doing something. Sometimes procrastination is an active choice and other times it’s much more subtle and subconscious.
Perhaps you’ve had the experience of reaching the end of the day and discovering that somehow you’ve busied yourself with a myriad of unimportant tasks and totally missed doing the one thing that was most important.
It may feel like you’re stepping on your own toes and sabotaging your success by forcing yourself to speedily complete that task at the last minute. Had you completed the task sooner, perhaps you wouldn’t have to rush to finish it.
Why do I procrastinate?
Procrastination can be prompted by a variety of factors.
You may procrastinate because you have a difficult time doing things imperfectly. So when you’re faced with a task that is new, difficult, or overwhelming, and you quickly (subconsciously) determine your first go at it won’t be perfect, you make a decision to put it off. Forcing yourself to do something that will result in an imperfect outcome may feel more upsetting than delaying the task altogether.
Or perhaps you procrastinate because the task at hand evokes undesirable feelings. The task may be boring (such as laundry), or difficult (such as figuring out how to file taxes), or overwhelming (such as getting the whole house organized and decluttered). For you, it may not be that you care so much about the tasks being done perfectly, as you just dread the feelings you’ll experience while doing the task.
You may struggle with procrastination because you have difficulty delaying gratification which requires suffering some uncomfortable emotions while waiting for a positive end result. If you tend to be more impulsive, that might tie in to how procrastination feels out of your control.
You may be feeling ashamed about your pattern of procrastination.
Before you start judging yourself, acknowledge that impulsivity, difficulty tolerating distress, and perfectionism are not necessarily choices you’re making. Something is shaping you to have those challenges.
It may be that you’re neurodivergent and experience ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Those with ADHD tend to need urgency in order to complete a task. This may be because the excitement of a quickly approaching deadline creates a necessary chemical cocktail in the brain that gives someone with ADHD the ability to focus and complete the task. Without the urgency, someone with ADHD may struggle to maintain focus on the task and shift their focus to other things. This can appear as though the individual with ADHD is choosing to procrastinate, when in reality, their brain may not have the support it needs to focus in on a task and complete it.
Folks with ADHD may also find themselves more likely to have a difficult time prioritizing tasks, keeping track of time, and coping with feelings of overwhelm. This is because the brain of someone with ADHD operates differently, particularly with regards to the part of the brain responsible for executive functioning which involves planning, organizing, and focusing information and tasks.
It’s essential that if ADHD is a factor at play for you, that you are careful to not judge yourself for procrastination. Your brain may operate differently from others and that makes some things in life really difficult. Learning how to support your brain, without internalizing the challenge as a reflection of your character, can help you navigate a way through challenges like procrastination. Medication and ADHD coaching or therapy can help you find new ways to navigate patterns of procrastination.
Similarly, for folks who struggle with perfectionism, it’s often not a choice or a matter of character. It’s unlikely that you were born a perfectionist. It’s more likely that you were shaped by your experiences that taught you perfection was expected and that imperfection was intolerable. Through therapy, you can unlearn those unhelpful beliefs and learn to see yourself in a new way. You can learn to have self-compassion and see yourself as valuable and whole while being human and having flaws. You can learn to tolerate mistakes and mess-ups while learning to adapt to challenges with confidence.
For some people, their perfectionistic thinking may be influenced by neurodivergence that presents as OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or OCD personality. If this is a factor at play for you, you might struggle to allow yourself to be less than perfect. It might be hard for your brain to think in non-black-and-white ways. Again here, a proper assessment by a mental health professional with medication, therapy or a combination of the two may help to alleviate the rigidity that can occur in a brain with OCD or OCD type tendencies.
Not all procrastinators have neurodivergence such as ADHD or OCD. Procrastination is part of the human experience. So to some degree it is normal to delay and postpone important things. Being compassionately curious and intentional about understanding what procrastination does for you, can help you to learn more about yourself, and what you need.
How can I overcome procrastination?
Here are some tips for overcoming procrastination:
Use a weekly planner and make a habit of writing out in your planner each week which tasks need to be done. Be sure to write out when they are due and when you intend to start them. Make sure your expectations of your schedule are reasonable.
Practice self-awareness. If you find yourself avoiding a task, check in with yourself by asking: What feeling might I be avoiding? What might be the hardest part about doing that task?
Practice distress-tolerance. Make a mental commitment to spend 10 minutes on the activity. Think of it like exercise or stretching - it may feel uncomfortable, but you will be better for it.
Practice meeting your emotional needs. Once you’ve named the uncomfortable feeling, ask yourself how you can support yourself in the midst of that feeling. For example, if you dread feeling bored while doing laundry, consider turning on fun music or a podcast. Or if you’re worried you won’t do a good job, remind yourself, I can do things imperfectly and still be good.
Practice self-compassion. Remind yourself you’re a human being not a human doing. Your worth is not based on your productivity or performance, despite what you might have been taught. Give yourself grace and make small, achievable goals to make progress without demanding perfection.
If neurodivergence is a factor at play for you, seek appropriate medical and mental health attention to care for yourself.
———
If procrastination is a pervasive issue and it’s impacting your ability to function successfully at work or in relationships, therapy can help and I’d love to support you. Reach out today to schedule a free 15-minute phone call to chat about your goals and determine if we’re a good fit.
