Three things emotions are and three things emotions are not.

Let’s clear the air about emotions. What are they? What’s true about emotions and what are the things we’ve been taught that might not actually be true.

Part one of this topic will address three things emotions are and part two will debunk three things emotions are not.

Let’s start with three things emotions are:

1. Emotions are universal

Emotions can feel so subjective, so it’s hard to imagine emotions as a science that can be studied, but there’s actually a lot of research on emotions - and still so much research to be done.

Psychological research demonstrates that human emotion can be studied by measuring facial movements. Studies with individuals of all age groups, genders, and cultures demonstrate that emotions are a universal human experience. Researchers categorize emotions into a list of “core emotions.”

Dr. Paul Ekman is one such researcher whose recent studies suggest there are seven basic emotions which include:

• Anger

• Fear

• Disgust

• Sadness

• Surprise

• Joy

• Contempt

2. Emotions are a signal

Think about the last time you were walking through the woods and saw a bear.

(Okay, hopefully you haven’t experienced this, but imagine you have.)

Probably pretty immediately, you felt a physiological (bodily) response that you might know as fear. This demonstrates your body’s natural ability to respond to a situation with an emotion. The physiological response of your heart racing tells you there is a threat to your safety. This is important information to be aware of and actually may keep you alive in that moment.

While not as dire, recall a time when you tasted a bite of something rotten. Again, I hope you can’t relate, but imagine you could. Immediately, you’d probably feel a bodily sensation that you might call disgust. Feeling that emotion is adaptive and helpful - it may prompt you to not finish the meal and prevent you from having to spend the rest of the day in the bathroom.

Emotions tell us something’s going on in our environment.

In the same way that your belly growls to convey your need for fuel, your emotions act as a signal of information about something you need.

Here are some examples of emotions and what they might convey what we need:

EMOTION —————————- NEED
Anger Justice, protection
Sadness Comfort, connection
Guilt Forgiveness, amends
Shame Connection, belonging
Fear Security, safety, reassurance

It’s as if we have multiple centers of intelligence - our bodies, our minds, and our emotions. We’re missing out if we’re tuning out a center of our intelligence.

3. Emotions are healthy

For the simple fact that all humans have emotions, let me assure you - emotions are healthy. It’s good for you to feel them. It’s important for you to feel them.

Sure, some emotions are unpleasant and even painful. But there’s something incredibly wise about the way our bodies are able to pick up on what we’re experiencing, create a physiological response, and a mental interpretation that then helps us to make sense of the world and our place in it.

Being emotionally attuned to yourself helps you to navigate the world by informing you of your needs. Caring for your own needs allows you to be able to attune and attend to the needs of others - this is developed through the skill of emotional intelligence.

There are four components to emotional intelligence:

1. Self-awareness

2. Self-regulation

3. Others’-awareness

4. Relational regulation

Emotional intelligence is a significant area of focus in the realm of personal and professional development. Studies have found that EQ (emotional intelligence) actually gets people farther in their professional career than IQ. For example, The Marshmallow Experiment from Stanford found that children who were able to demonstrate delayed gratification (a self-regulation, emotional intelligence skill) made greater advancements cognitively when compared with peers who didn’t demonstrate delayed gratification.

Self-awareness, or put differently, your attunement to what you’re feeling, is the first step in being able to navigate emotions well. So feeling your emotions and having a view of them as a normal, natural part of being human is healthy.

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While emotions can at times be inconvenient, uncomfortable, and even unwanted, they’re a healthy, normal part of life. The better we are at noticing and accepting our emotions, the easier it is to understand the message the emotion is conveying to then make a decision about how best to respond.

Next up, part two on three things emotions are not!